Friday, 20 March 2009
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Edward Cullen Isn't Gonna Fuck You - Get Over It!
I don't mean to sound like a stereotypical sassy black woman, but this chocolate goddess is about sick and tired of them skinny-ass, vampire cock-lovin', white bitches talkin' 'bout their love lives like it's some god-damned soap opera. Bitch, please - reading about your relationship problems is like watching Hilary Duff take a shit. Facebook this. Twilight that. Boo-fucking-hoo!
You wanna talk about real problems? Let's talk about how I can't look at an Asian man without my pussy turning into a Slip 'N Slide. Or how my baby daddy ran away with some skank. (I bet she was a blogger on Revelife - after all, those bloggers get more ass than Datingish bloggers.)
All you coffee-drinkin', cigarette-smokin', Mary Kate Olsen wannabes who think you're hot are just trying to make up for a severe lack of personality. Well guess what, bitch - I can see right through you. Almost literally, you human wafer. And please stop obsessing over Twilight. We get it. You want to fuck Edward Cullen. Why? Why do you love this litte white boy?
A real man is big and strong, one that can defend and hunt for his family. Why does this Edward Cullen character exude sexuality? He ain't nothin' but a priss!
I read Twilight - don't ask me why or how. All I know is that when I went into Barnes and Noble, I got caught in a white bitch tidal wave and walked out with a copy of this literary garbage.
So please, Datingish, enough of this middle-school crap. Why don't you feature some shit written by a grown-ass woman who ain't afraid a gettin' freaky?
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Comments (63)
hahahaha . . . I'm too old to be in love with that dude. Now, show me a Native American man, (one in particular), and hand this girl a towel.
This was great.
I got caught in a white bitch tidal wave once. Except I came out with the High School Musical soundtrack.
Haha, I loved this :]
@wherethefishlives@xanga - oh.. ohhhhh poor you.
I was resistant to Twilight for so long...it took me forever. But I read it and I loved it.
And I own the whole series now, but I don't think I'm gonna get the movie...I dunno, we'll see.
Us white bitches love Edward because he does hunt and provide for people. He hunts animals. :D
@wherethefishlives@xanga - You poor boy. Yeah, I just called you a sandwich.
I think I'm in love =D
You just made my day. HAHA!
Amen.
Now don't hold back, LOL, tell us how you really feel:D
Haha that was fucking awesome!
THis was a great POST, so much vulgar! I love it!
hahah but yeah, I avoid twilight crap....just because of this...
LOL
love this
I don't really understand the obsession either. Stephenie Meyer isn't even a very good writer.
Ok, that was something different. I do get that you are fed up with the Twilight posts, but what's with all the 'white bitch' thing? Other than that, you are right.
I'm one "white bitch" who never understood the damn obsession with "Twilight" either. Â I don't understand most vampire movies though. Â
@wherethefishlives@xanga - I'm so sorry you got stuck with the High School Musical Soundtrack.  My little cousin is obsessed with that show right now.  I feel so bad for her mom. Â
Awesome. Simply awesome.
AYMEN!
whos edward cullen?
@moptoplop@xanga - I've never done an Asian man either, but Xanga has a lot of pretty yellow men I can get my jollies off to.
@adventofreason@xanga - We all have our pleasures!
@wherethefishlives@xanga - Damn those white bitches!
@faustuosa@xanga - It's all in good fun dear. I'm a black bitch.
@Mr_Tyson57@xanga - you're luck that you don't know.
LOL.. Wow so blatantly honest...=) I actually had to google who Edward Cullen was... I loved it and I especially liked the part about Asian male...
Thanks for sharing... 
I think I may be the only person alive and not in a third world country who has still not seen this movie. I am like you though, I just can't get into whimpy vampires. I like vampires like Blade or maybe the really truly evil ones in the old stories. @wherethefishlives@xanga - the mental picture of you with a high school musical CD made me laugh so hard my family had to come and check to see if I was OK.
LOL! I mean, yeah, I love Twilight...but I'm not about to go around humping the air everytime I see a picture of Robert Pattinson dressed as Edward---that's flippin ridiculous, and anyone who does that needs a serious reality check.